By Daryll Scott
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Extra info for Can We Start Again?: The Patterns & Techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Applied to Business Presentations and Interactions
Making a Connection time. Everything from our choice of words and tone of voice to body language is driven by what is going on inside. Imagine if some people used their thoughts in a similar way to us their experience of the world would be quite similar to our own. The way they process the world will be reflected in their behaviour, so their behaviour would be similar in some way to our own. Is it possible that we are drawn to these people who 'do things' the same way we do? I would like to share with you an abridged version of a story from Whispering in The Wind (Bostic/Grinder 2001) in which John Grinder relays how he and Richard Bandler (the co-creators of NLP) came to discover the patterns that are the subject of this section: John and Richard had completed The Structure of Magic, volume 1, with the Meta model and were in the car on the way to begin a new group one evening when Richard asked John to stop at a store so that he could buy some cigarettes.
Scientists are aware of this 'confirmation bias' so they set out to disprove what they believe to be true. Their success in doing this in active observation will be entirely subject to their ability to truly let go of their beliefs and expectations. I would venture that in many cases there is little difference between distorting information to prove what you expect or believe, and distorting information to not disprove what you expect or believe, when the original hypothesis is held within your current 'frame of reference' .
My family celebrate Christmas and we exchange gifts on Christmas morning. My brother (who is four years my junior) and I were given an eagerly anticipated ATARI games console by our parents. We spent the day in a highly excited state about being given this completely new system to learn and play with. After what seemed like days, in reality a couple of hours, the games console found itself attached to the television. My brother and I sat next to each other with controller in hand, poised to begin what became an epic battle with huge jagged blobs of colour that represented duelling tanks or 'dogfighting' aircraft.